The Wall Street Journal, November 2, 2006, Thursday

The Wall Street Journal
Home & Family: Work & Family Mailbox
By Sue Shellenbarger
2 November 2006
The Wall Street Journal

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(Copyright (c) 2006, Dow Jones & Company, Inc.)
[Columnist Sue Shellenbarger answers readers' questions]

Q: I have a 10-year-old daughter who is struggling in school with a memory disability. My wife and I have provided diagnostic testing, counseling, educational therapy, special services at her school and home-schooling. My greatest hope is that she will go to college. Are there universities that admit students with learning disabilities?
-- B.C., Redondo Beach, Calif.

A: Hundreds of colleges have programs to serve students with learning disabilities, says Dale S. Brown, an advocate and author of five books for people with learning disabilities. Check out "The K&W Guide to Colleges for Students with Learning Disabilities or Attention Deficit Disorder," published by the Princeton Review, and "Colleges for Students With Learning Disabilities or ADD," published by Peterson's.

The Web site of George Washington University's National Clearinghouse on Postsecondary Education for Individuals with Disabilities, www.heath.gwu.edu , offers a wealth of information. Available free there is a new "Guidance and Career Counselor's Toolkit," which is useful to parents, says David Brewer, a program leader at Cornell University's Employment and Disability Institute.

You've done a great job so far getting help for your daughter. Start in middle school to work with her school guidance counselors to identify and track her interests and talents, Dr. Brewer says. In high school, set up visits to colleges with programs that might be a good fit, he suggests.

Her learning differences may mean that she will have trouble winning good grades and teacher approval, Ms. Brown says. To counter that, encourage her to discover her interests and play to her strengths; "the parents must light the lamp of their child's love of learning," she says. You might encourage her to do community-service work. This could kindle her interest in the world and yield rewarding achievements and connections, Ms. Brown says.

Q: I'm a single baby boomer with no kids, siblings or younger relatives with whom I'm close. My friends are all around my age. I have long-term care insurance, but I'm concerned about what will happen if I get Alzheimer's or just become forgetful. How can I find a trustworthy person who will put me in a nursing home if I need it, pay my bills and so on?
-- M.M., Old Tappan, N.J.
A: Consider talking with your friends about sharing responsibility for helping each other. You will age differently; some of you may still be able to help when others' health declines, says Donna Schempp, program director for the Family Caregiver Alliance, San Francisco, a nonprofit research, support and advocacy concern. You might line up one friend and one or two backups to assume control over your health care and financial affairs if needed, Ms. Schempp says. Your attorney can draw up power-of-attorney documents and help determine the circumstances under which that control would pass to the designated person. Another approach is to retain a case manager to help arrange services as health issues arise. Check www.findacaremanager.org for referrals.
Among alternative housing options, retirement or assisted-living facilities offer tiered levels of care, with access to greater support as needed. In senior co-housing, residents have private townhouses or condos but share some central common facilities, Ms. Schempp says. Informal retirement communities are buildings or neighborhoods that have evolved into age-segregated communities of older persons who support each other. Many friends are buying homes together in informal communal arrangements. For more information, contact your local aging agency, findable through www.eldercare.gov .
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